As adults, we’re comfortable using abstract words like sad, worried, or overwhelmed. But for young children, those words can feel fuzzy and far away. When emotions rise, asking a child to 'use their words' often comes at exactly the moment when words are hardest to find.
What children understand best is what they can see, imagine, and feel.
This is where colour and metaphor quietly do their work.
When feelings are too big to name
When emotions surge, a child’s thinking brain
takes a back seat. Their body is responding first - tightening, racing,
withdrawing, bursting. In these moments, abstract language asks too much.
But give a feeling a shape, a colour, or a
character, and something shifts.
Instead of trying to explain sadness, a child
might say,
'My blue feels heavy today.'
Instead of describing frustration,
'My red is really loud.'
Suddenly, the feeling has edges. It’s no longer
swirling everywhere, it feels like something. And that something can be
noticed, shared, and gently supported.
Metaphor creates safety
Metaphor offers children a kind of emotional
breathing space.
When a feeling is represented as a colour or
image, the child isn’t the problem. The feeling becomes an experience they’re
having, not who they are. This subtle distance reduces shame and defensiveness
and makes room for curiosity.
A child can look at a feeling rather than be
swallowed by it.
That sense of safety matters. It’s what allows
children to stay connected while emotions move through them, rather than
shutting down or escalating further.
Why colour works so well
Colour is one of the earliest languages children understand.
Long before they can read, children use colour to express mood in their drawings, their play, and their choices. They instinctively know that colours carry tone, energy, and meaning.
When stories use colour to represent feelings, children don’t need to be taught what to think. They recognise it in their bodies first.
Colour becomes a shared emotional shorthand - a way to say, 'this is how it feels right now,' without needing the perfect words.
Stories invite conversation, not performance
Children rarely open up because they’re instructed to. They open up because something feels familiar, safe, or gently mirrors their inner world.
Stories create a third space, not about the child, not about the adult, but about something together. In that space, emotions can be explored sideways, without pressure.
Often the most meaningful moments don’t happen during the reading itself, but afterwards:
- a quiet comment
- a question at bedtime
- a colour chosen the next day
Stories don’t demand disclosure. They invite it.
From abstract to everyday connection
When children are given concrete ways to explore feelings, they slowly build:
- emotional vocabulary
- confidence in expressing inner experiences
- trust that their feelings will be met with understanding
Most importantly, they learn that all feelings are welcome - even the messy, confusing ones.
Colour and metaphor don’t try to fix emotions.
They simply help children feel less alone with them.
And sometimes, that’s where the real conversation begins.
Author bio
Joanne Sorley is a psychologist and children’s author based in Australia. She creates stories and tools that support children’s emotional wellbeing through gentle, evidence-informed approaches. Her website is coming soon at www.pocketfulofmeaning.com.au
