Children feel deeply long before they can explain what’s happening inside them.
As adults, we’re comfortable using abstract words like sad, worried or overwhelmed, but for young children, those words can feel fuzzy and far away. When emotions rise, asking a child to 'use their words' often comes at exactly the moment when words are hardest to find.
What children understand best is what they can see, imagine, and feel. This is where colour and metaphor quietly do their work.
When feelings are too big to name
When emotions surge, a child’s thinking brain takes a back seat. Their body responds first - tightening, racing, withdrawing, bursting. In these moments, abstract language asks too much. But give a feeling a shape, a colour, or a character - and something shifts.
Instead of trying to explain sadness, a child might say 'My blue feels heavy today.' Instead of describing frustration, say 'My red is really loud.'
Suddenly, the feeling has edges. It’s no longer swirling everywhere, it feels like something. And that something can be noticed, shared and gently supported.
Metaphor creates safety
Instead of trying to explain sadness, a child might say 'My blue feels heavy today.' Instead of describing frustration, say 'My red is really loud.'
Suddenly, the feeling has edges. It’s no longer swirling everywhere, it feels like something. And that something can be noticed, shared and gently supported.
Metaphor creates safety
Metaphor offers children a kind of emotional breathing space. When a feeling is represented as a colour or image, the child isn’t the problem. The feeling becomes an experience they’re having, not who they are. This subtle distance reduces shame and defensiveness and makes room for curiosity.
A child can look at a feeling rather than be swallowed by it. That sense of safety matters. It’s what allows children to stay connected while emotions move through them, rather than shutting down or escalating further.
Why colour works so well
Why colour works so well
Colour is one of the earliest languages children understand. Long before they can read, they use colour to express mood in their drawings, their play and their choices. They instinctively know that colours carry tone, energy and meaning.
When stories use colour to represent feelings, children don’t need to be taught what to think. They recognise it in their bodies first. Colour becomes a shared emotional shorthand - a way to say 'this is how it feels right now' without needing the perfect words.
Stories invite conversation, not performance
Children rarely open up because they’re instructed to. They open up because something feels familiar, safe or gently mirrors their inner world. Books and story create a third space - not about the child, not about the adult - but about something together. In that space, emotions can be explored sideways, without pressure.
Often the most meaningful moments don’t happen during the book reading itself, but afterwards:
Stories don’t demand disclosure. They invite it. From abstract to everyday connection. When children are given concrete ways to explore feelings, they slowly build:
Most importantly, they learn that all feelings are welcome - even the messy, confusing ones. Colour and metaphor don’t try to fix emotions. They simply help children feel less alone with them. And sometimes, that’s where the real conversation begins.
When stories use colour to represent feelings, children don’t need to be taught what to think. They recognise it in their bodies first. Colour becomes a shared emotional shorthand - a way to say 'this is how it feels right now' without needing the perfect words.
Stories invite conversation, not performance
Children rarely open up because they’re instructed to. They open up because something feels familiar, safe or gently mirrors their inner world. Books and story create a third space - not about the child, not about the adult - but about something together. In that space, emotions can be explored sideways, without pressure.
Often the most meaningful moments don’t happen during the book reading itself, but afterwards:
- a quiet comment
- a question at bedtime
- a colour chosen the next day
Stories don’t demand disclosure. They invite it. From abstract to everyday connection. When children are given concrete ways to explore feelings, they slowly build:
- emotional vocabulary
- confidence in expressing inner experiences
- trust that their feelings will be met with understanding
Most importantly, they learn that all feelings are welcome - even the messy, confusing ones. Colour and metaphor don’t try to fix emotions. They simply help children feel less alone with them. And sometimes, that’s where the real conversation begins.
Author bio
Joanne Sorley is a psychologist and children’s author based in Australia. She creates stories and tools that support children’s emotional wellbeing through gentle, evidence-informed approaches. Her website is coming soon at www.pocketfulofmeaning.com.au
Photo by Sean Nufer on Unsplash.
