'The best books, reviewed with insight and charm, but without compromise.'
- author Jackie French

Friday 20 December 2013

KBR Short Story: Christmas in Cuffs

by Stacey Hill

Mum went a bit crazy this Christmas.

Who would have thought that some light bulbs would result in Mum being handcuffed and escorted out of Jimmy’s Amazing Christmas Shop by the Police?

It all started on the 1st of December. As is tradition, we decorated our house with Christmas decorations. Snow globes, wreaths (four to be exact), animatronic reindeer ... you name it, we have it. At last count there were forty-three Santa ornaments ... and that was just in the lounge room!

Don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas but my Mum––well let’s just say there’s a reason everyone calls her 'Mrs Claus'.

Mum’s most prized decoration is the tree. There is not a single branch that doesn’t hold a bauble. In a word, it is EPIC!

There is only one problem with a tree of such epic proportions. The lights have to be just as awesome. Which is why we have a thousand fairy lights on our tree. Fairy lights don’t always want to work so every year Mum checks them all, replacing any blown or broken bulbs along the way. It’s a three-week process.

This year, however, was supposed to be different. Mum had replaced her old lights with the latest range of energy efficient LED lights. Jimmy, from Jimmy’s Amazing Christmas Shop said the new lights would never have to be replaced.

Mum was very pleased.

That evening was the big reveal. We all did a drumroll as Mum flicked the switch and ... nothing.

Not a single fairy light was twinkling.

Dad suggested plugging the lights in a different outlet. It didn’t work. The tree was still shrouded in darkness. Mum’s eye began to twitch.

We tried a new adaptor. Still no lights. Mum’s teeth began to grind. Dad and I looked nervously at each other as Mum started checking every bulb.

Five hours, later Mum wiped the sweat from her brow and slowly extended her finger towards the switch. Dad and I held each others hand. The switch was flicked.

The lights did not turn on.

Calmly, Mum picked up a nearby snow globe, whispered, “I’ll be right back,” and walked out the front door.

The police called an hour later. They told us to meet them at Jimmy’s Amazing Christmas Shop.

The first thing I noticed when we arrived was a broken storefront window followed by Mum being escorted away in handcuffs. The shop owner, Jimmy, had arrived at the same time.

“I don’t know what came over me!” Mum exclaimed.

“I think you should see this,” said the officer, and he ushered us inside where we were greeted by the most incredible display I have ever seen.

Every tree was decorated, wreaths adorned every door, reindeers and paper snowflakes hung from the ceiling, tinsel swayed between shelves, Christmas music blared through the speakers and everywhere you looked, a Santa was waving back at you.

Mum was released from gaol two hours later.

Jimmy didn’t want to press charges. He wanted to give Mum a job!

Stacey Hill's friends call her Stack. She writes, doodles, juggles, flies her toy helicopter and takes photos of her feet - just your average girl really. Learn more about Stacey at her blog skHILLed.

KBR Short Stories are a way to get your work ‘out there’—and to delight our KBR readers. Stories are set to a monthly theme and entries are due in the 25th of each month. Find out more here