Mandy was nearly one. A whole big one.
She had chubby little hands and chubby little feet. And with her chubby little hands and feet she squished her porridge, squashed her mashed potato and squeeeeeezed her avocado until green worms oozed through her fingers.
‘We know exactly what birthday party you’d like, Mandy,’ said Mum and Dad. ‘You’d like a Cake Smash party, wouldn’t you? And we’ll order the best cake ever.’
On Mandy’s birthday, the guests arrived. So did the photographer. And then came the cake.
What a cake it was.
‘Look, Mandy, honey. Just think of all the mess you’ll be allowed to make,’ said Dad.
Mandy stared at the great big cake.
‘Goodness,’ said Grandpa. ‘That is the tallest cake I’ve ever seen.’
‘Gracious,’ said Grandma. ‘That is the poshest cake I’ve ever seen.’
‘Glory,’ said Auntie. ‘That is the grandest cake I’ve ever seen.’
‘Gaaaaa,’ said Mandy, frowning at the cake.
‘Time for the Cake Smash,’ announced Mum.
Everyone gathered round and Mandy was placed on a mat next to the cake. Last moment primping was done. Cameras were poised … but suddenly, Mandy pulled off her bow and quickly crawled away. So Dad brought her back. ‘There.’
Last moment preening was done. Cameras were poised … but suddenly, Mandy pulled off her headband and quickly slid away. So Mum brought her back. ‘There.’
Now Mandy sat very still. Cameras were poised … and this time Mandy did not pull anything off or go anywhere. Instead, she opened her mouth and cried … and cried … and cried.
‘Goodness,’ said Grandpa. ‘Just hit the cake like this.’ And he did lots of karate chops in the air.
‘Gracious,’ said Grandma. ‘This is how you do it.’ And she waved her hands so quickly they blurred.
‘Glory,’ said Auntie. ‘I’ll show you what to do.’ And she flapped her arms like a great big bird.
But Mandy yelled and yowled at the tallest cake.
She screamed and squawked at the poshest cake.
She covered her eyes from the grandest cake.
So Grandpa and Grandma and Auntie tried even harder to get Mandy to smash her cake. They were chopping and waving and flapping so much, that suddenly, in a twisted tangled mess … SPLAT! They all toppled over and onto the cake!
Now it was the flattest, messiest, crumbliest cake Mandy had ever seen. And she giggled … and giggled … and giggled.
Mandy gave a cheeky little smile and stuck her chubby little hands right into the cake. Then she stuck her chubby little feet right into the cake … and she squished and squashed and squeeeeeezed.
‘Gooooo,’ said Mandy.
Kaye Baillie lives by the Murray River in Victoria. When she is not running around the house (doing chores, that is) or dealing with her two daughters, she is dreaming up how to write great stories. Her goal is to have a picture book published one day and she reads them non-stop. Visit Kaye's website to find out more.
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