When
I was in year 5, I fell in love for the first time. I knew with burning clarity
that this guy would understand my 11-year-old soul like no one else could.I
wasn’t sure how Gilbert and I would make it work, since he was:
a)
Canadian; b) living in the 1870s; and c) fictional - but those facts didn’t
stop me from day-dreaming.
Of
course I understood it was impossible, but I struggled to square that with the
feeling that Gilbert Blythe from Anne of Green Gables was meant for me.
Am
I alone here? I’m hoping other avid readers understand the feeling of
connecting with a person who doesn’t exist except on paper.
Here
are a few other literary crushes of mine:
The
eccentric and passionate Jonathan from Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell by
Susanna Clarke. Funny, envious Erica from Hating Alison Ashley by Robin Klein.
Severus Snape in the Harry Potter books.
Were
these heroes inspired by real people? The beating heart in each makes me think they
were.
In my latest book, Michaela Mason’s Big List of 23 Worries, a comic middle-grade novel about an anxious girl, I was inspired to create my heroine by some real-life kids.
Michaela Mason is funny, fussy, intense and opinionated, and soothes herself by writing many lists to tabulate her life. Michaela has IDEAS about how the world should work. In this first book in the series, Michaela moves to the country and is forced to grapple with her fear of DOGS! (that’s how she hears the word in her head, in big and screechy letters like in a horror movie).
Michaela
Mason was inspired by real girls I met years ago while working as a research
assistant in the psychology department of a large university.
I
was helping to film a session of the university’s anxiety clinic, which that
day consisted of kids from 8 to 12 years old. The kids who suffered from social
anxiety were painfully shy, unable to make eye contact or speak above a whisper.
Other kids couldn’t sit still and roamed the room. Some kids were anxious about
going to school or being separated from their parents, while others were
terrified of the dark. The first thing I realised was that I’d been an anxious child,
at least to some extent. For example, I remembered being terrified of burglars
breaking into the house as a child.
The
second thing that struck me was a girl … or was it a couple of girls? I may be
fusing two girls into one. Let’s say two girls. One I remember as warm and quick
to flash a big, bright smile at anyone who needed encouragement. Another I remember
as clever and boisterous and funny. These girls didn’t fit my idea of what an anxious
kid looked like which is why they intrigued me.
Not
long ago as I was slogging away at a middle-grade story that wasn’t working, those
girls appeared from the dark, mysterious place where thoughts arrive and
memories go.
A
little shiver passed through me. My memories of the girls were vague – I
couldn’t tell you what they looked like or even how many girls there were - but
that didn’t matter. What I remembered clearly was their bravery and humour in
the face of fear.
I
turned to a blank page in my beaten-up notebook, determined to create a
character with that same spirit.
Soon,
I’d come up with a new fictional person unto herself: Michaela Mason. Around
her, my middle-grade story fell into place.
As
I write the Michaela Mason books I find myself snorting at her thoughts or getting
choked up over her struggles. I hope that readers will get to know her, too,
and experience with me the strange, solitary magic that comes from making
friends with a fictional character.
Alexa Moses is a children’s author and screenwriter. Her latest book, Michaela Mason’s Big List of 23 Worries (Scholastic Australia) is available for pre-order now. Her picture book Bat vs Poss (Hachette Australia) was shortlisted for the CBCA 2020 awards.
She has also contributed a number of poems to CBCA Notable children’s poetry book A Boat of Stars, and written two books set in New Kingdom Egypt for ‘tweens.Her screenwriting credits include the Berry Bees, as well as Sydney Sailboat, Hoot Hoot Go!, Lexi & Lottie: Trusty Twin Detectives, The Davincibles, Tashi, and co-writing credits on the Alice-Miranda movies.
